Life Notes

One day, i told myself that i need to get back my life as soon as possible. So i got it. I got my (old-like)life a week a go. I should be gratefull. I am. I'm so gratefull that, finally, i get my life back. But, in other side, i feel so scared. I'm afraid of everything. I worry too much. I think too much. What should i do? You know, even this is looks like my old-like life but this time is a real time. A real time which i shouldn't make many mistakes.  A new place, a new team, some new friends, a new job description, a new point of view, and many more. I should adapt as soon as possible. And i am afraid. I am afraid of something that doesn't come yet. I am afraid of the next days. I am afraid of myself. Tonight, i met with some of my college friends. We talk about everything. We laugh about nothing. I feel good. I miss those old times. When we spent much time together. When we talk about everything, laugh about something that not so funny, and do nothing. So i told abou...

Mereka bilang: "Ketika kamu ingin menyerah, tengoklah ke belakang, lihatlah apa dan bagaimana kamu mencapai titik ini" Dan di sinilah aku, menengok ke belakang, melihat kembali apa yg sudah terjadi dan bagaimana aku bisa mencapai titik ini. Aku ingin menyerah. Dan aku akan menyerah. Inilah yang selalu ada dalam pikiranku. Aku ingin menyerah. Dan kemudian aku melihat ke belakang. Melihat apa saja yang sudah kulalui, apa saja yang sudah terjadi hingga detik ini. Dan aku masih ingin menyerah. Ada bagian dalam diriku, yang sangat pesimis, berkata bahwa aku harus menyerah. Karena aku tidak akan mampu melalui ini semua. Bagian diriku, yang sangat optimis, berkata bahwa aku akan melalui ini semua. Because, i deserve more than this. I deserve more than giving up. I shouldn't give up yet. But, i'm only a human. I can't help but become scared. I'm scared. Of everything. What if, finally, i can't hold it anymore and i give up? What if, i feel that i'm done with a...